A young boy's mind, scarred by a traumatic event.

Category:

General Contents

Children traumatized by horrible events, will internalize those moments, bearing in their minds the scars for the rest of their lives.

*****

An episode which happened in my early life's stage, still today I remember it, as an unfocused pictures in my mind. Too young, to recall that event in its details, probably it was one of my first memories I had since I was born. I was not more than six years old for sure, but I kept that moment in my memories as a tragic event and, I remembered it as, in a movie which has missing some picture frames from it.


The day this traumatic event happened, probably it was spring, or may be an early summer day, because I recall it, as a warm morning day with a very bright, and cloudless blue sky. I was in company of other children playing a soccer game (those were my first kicks to a ball) in a big square with cars parked close to the sidewalks, and all around, high raising apartment buildings, overlooking the "piazza". On those sidewalks around the square, there were some trees here and there with a lots of birds singing on top of them.

It was a perfect day, and I was playing with my little friends when we heard sirens faraway getting closer and closer to where we were. They were police cars, their sirens screaming got worst when they reached the square and, afterward stopping abruptly their mad rush, exactly where we were playing.
In split seconds from those cars a lot of cops swarmed out, proceeding toward an apartment's front door on the first floor of, one of those high raising buildings. Meanwhile, we had stopped our game while standing confused and puzzled, looking at that frenzied activity.

Ten/twenty minutes passed by then, when a few cops came out pushing a stretcher on top of which there was a body completely covered with a white sheet, smudged with some red color on it. That was the body of a young lady which, we were used to see coming or getting out from that apartment on those morning days. That morning we saw her for the last time, a few minutes before we started our soccer game while, she was getting in her apartment with her two young children.

Till these days I remember that fragile figure and the two boys as in a faded picture, I can see them together while passing by me and my friends but, even tough, I can't recall their faces, the weird thing it's that I can feel the young mother sadness. That event was, for my young mind some thing inexplicable, it was for me something that, I never had experienced in my young life.
I could not give an answer at my emotional distress, I could not think that some thing of that magnitude could ever happened, a human being killing an other human being. That event, really upset my nights for sometime, in a sequence of recurrent and, inexplicable dreams, where I was trying to do some thing in the hope of helping this lady, in my mind doing exactly what, I really don't know!

After many years, I finally came to realize that, I was traumatized by that tragic event and, I needed some specialistic help in those days.
With time, only because I had a resilient young mind, I could cope with that "infantile trauma".
Still today, I wonder about those young boys' destiny.

*****

For the chronicle: this young mother was murdered by her jealous husband, fortunately sparing the two children's life.

Is American society based on strong foundations?

Category:

General Contents

In an apartment next to mine, was living a young girl with a newborn, the age of this girl was 14.
She was kicked out by her family because she got pregnant, now living alone with a child of her own.
This girl was not an expectation, because I knew others girls more or less her age with the same problem.
In the States look like a common thing with girls this age having babies already.

A friend of mine, that was used to come to pay a visit in the weekends or in the holidays, when my family and relatives gathered together.
My friend was happy because for a moment, he felt part of a real family.
The reason, his parents were divorced since he was very little, in the same time I know other acquaintances who parents are divorced also.
The rate of divorces are very high in the U.S., in fact I believe to be around or above 50%.

One day I saw a mother kick out his young son from the apartment where he was living, because she couldn't support him anymore.
This lady had no husband, and to be fair, she was I think insane.
Others been kicked out because their parents couldn't deal with them anymore.
Not only boys have been kicked out, for a reason or another, but girls too.

All the parents of these youngsters, are mostly divorced or disgruntled parents.
Of course not all the American parents "thank God", act like these.

The point of this opening:

I believe, there is something deeply wrong within the American society.
This nation is based on foundations, that, for the most part are not very solid.
These foundations are the "American families", most of which are in reality dysfunctional families.

Why such things happened in the first place?
I have been a spectator of what's been going on in the American culture, I have seen many thing which perplexed me, even being an open mind like I am, still I can not embrace anything that the American culture throws at me.
I believe America has lost its values, this is the price families have paid for a more open and free society.
Families had been disgruntled because they lost the meaning of family.

I believe there are many factors involved, which lead to these end results.
One of the many reasons are laws.
I believe that laws, has not helped much with families.

I know there are cases , where parents are not fit to parenting, and the law must intervene.
Case such parents, abusing their status of parenting on their own children.
These intrusions by the states laws, which was supposed to help preventing abused children, sometime has in fact curbed parents in their parenting decisions.
Diminishing their right to exercise their parenting role, specifically when deciding how best educate their own children.
This had lead parents to be too permissive with their children.
They can't punish their kids to harshly, or they can incur in the law penalties.
Corporal punishments like slapping it's a no, no or you risk to go in jail.
How you are supposed to discipline youngsters, when they won't listen, so what other way they have left?
Verbal punishments doesn't always work.
All these put them in a prospective of a limited parenting role.
Parents feel they are not in charge anymore, so they opt for the easy way out, let them decide whatever way they choose, at the best when things get worst, and they can't deal with their kids anymore, the only solution left, it's to kick them out.

Some other reason, is divorce.
Sometime you really need to get out of a bad marriage, I completely agree, but marriage is not anymore seen as sacred bound, you marry today, and in a couple months for whatever reason you are divorced.
American rural culture, has faded in the modern urban life.
In modern days values such as marriage for many has little if none importance.
Marriage and family is not all in this new America, it's a temporary impasse in your life, at worst you can always get out at the first sign of difficulty.

Another thing which doesn't help much American families are, movies and TV.
Movies and TV, which show a more libertine society.

Are women more in charge, and men let to be in second?

I know a married woman, which in the weekends goes to pubs, because she needs some time off, leaving behind her young children under care of her husband.
I do believe women and man should share same responsibilities in running a family, but sometime i believe roles has been reversed.
I conclude here, because there are so many factors involved in this topic, which takes much time to discuss in a single post.

I end this post with a couple questions:

It's all bad in the United States?
Of course not, but there things which this nation needs to sort out.

How?
It's not up to any single individual, but only as a whole the United States will find some answers.