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Friday, December 28, 2007

A young boy's mind, scarred by a traumatic event.

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Children traumatized by horrible events, will internalize those moments, bearing in their minds the scars for the rest of their lives.

*****

An episode which happened in my early life's stage, still today I remember it, as an unfocused pictures in my mind. Too young, to recall that event in its details, probably it was one of my first memories I had since I was born. I was not more than six years old for sure, but I kept that moment in my memories as a tragic event and, I remembered it as, in a movie which has missing some picture frames from it.


The day this traumatic event happened, probably it was spring, or may be an early summer day, because I recall it, as a warm morning day with a very bright, and cloudless blue sky. I was in company of other children playing a soccer game (those were my first kicks to a ball) in a big square with cars parked close to the sidewalks, and all around, high raising apartment buildings, overlooking the "piazza". On those sidewalks around the square, there were some trees here and there with a lots of birds singing on top of them.

It was a perfect day, and I was playing with my little friends when we heard sirens faraway getting closer and closer to where we were.
They were police cars, their sirens screaming got worst when they reached the square and, afterward stopping abruptly their mad rush, exactly where we were playing.
In split seconds from those cars a lot of cops swarmed out, proceeding toward an apartment's front door on the first floor of, one of those high raising buildings. Meanwhile, we had stopped our game while standing confused and puzzled, looking at that frenzied activity.

Ten/twenty minutes passed by then, when a few cops came out pushing a stretcher on top of
which there was a body completely covered with a white sheet, smudged with some red color on it. That was the body of a young lady which, we were used to see coming or getting out from that apartment on those morning days. That morning we saw her for the last time, a few minutes before we started our soccer game while, she was getting in her apartment with her two young children.

Till these days I remember that fragile figure and the two boys as in a faded picture, I can see them together while passing by me and my friends but, even tough, I can't recall their faces, the weird thing it's that I can feel the young mother sadness. That event was, for my young mind some thing inexplicable, it was for me something that, I never had experienced in my young life.
I could not give an answer at my emotional distress, I could not think that some thing of that magnitude could ever happened, a human being killing an other human being. That event, really upset my nights for sometime, in a sequence of recurrent and, inexplicable dreams, where I was trying to do some thing in the hope of helping this lady, in my mind doing exactly what, I really don't know!

After many years, I finally came to realize that, I was traumatized by that tragic event and, I needed some specialistic help in those days.
With time, only because I had a resilient young mind, I could cope with that "infantile trauma".
Still today, I wonder about those young boys' destiny.

*****

For the chronicle: this young mother was murdered by her jealous husband, fortunately sparing the two children's life.



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