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Sunday, June 1, 2008

The fears that are curbing at our well being.

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This post would be something that will totally differ from my usual topics' niche. Why? Because life is also made by unpleasant realities, and fears are a big part of them.

In many years I had many types of fear to deal with: fear of falling from a very high place, fear of a car crash, fear of losing someone dear to me, fear for the future, fear of....oh God so many fears. Then, I realized that all humanity is born in a world filled with fears, and yet humanity has always mastered them, or else we wouldn't even been dwelling in this world. Would we? We need to overcome our fears, or we'll simply succumb to our emotional stresses.


Can we overcome any fear?


I have always dealt with fears with a simple mind's trick, I let them completely engulf my mind and body, while in the same time I told myself, what was the worst thing could ever happened to me, once I let these monsters conquer my mind? I simple told myself, that the worst thing that would ever happened to me was, death!!! Yeah, death. Then, everything would have ended. No more emotions, no more stresses, no more pains, no more fears...no more anythings, just ended right then!!! And no, my response wasn't a suicidal reaction to an unpleasant situation, and either wasn't motivated because I was giving up at life. At the contrary, I was fighting spasmodically to survive, to overpower my fearfulness generated by all the unknowns lurking at every step of my life. Ultimately, I let my fears conquer myself, for me in a later time to defeat them.


I know, it's a twisted way to fight irrational feelings, but to fight something envisaged, or even of real nature, that's was the only way I knew to easy my personal fears. With this little trick in place, I could finally quiet down my emotionalities, my anxieties, my ghosts due to fearing something imaginary, and amazingly... it worked. The other thing resulting from my new state of mind was: once I embraced the idea of dying, I noticed I had found courage, a renewed courage, the courage to accept any adversity that life was ready to throw in my way.

But there was another kind of fear, that I have discovered during these last years, in which I couldn't apply the same old trick. As I'm getting old, a new fear has arose within me, and now it's gripping my soul and ravaging my mind!

A kind of fear to which, I co
uldn't apply this time a remedy, any kind of remedy wasn't working with this type of fear. An overwhelming feeling of dying to a painfully death! Yes, that's my real fear, and I know, this time I can't conquer it and even less fleeing from it. The fear of suffering by an unimaginable pain, before dying from a terminal illness.


I have already seen the outcomes from a terminal illness and the effects on those who had the misfortune to fall seriously ill. The after results, which are truly totally devastating on those lives, the minutes before their dismissal from life actually happen are: pains, excruciating pains, unimaginable pains. Too much of sufferings, that's what I'm really afraid of. Dying while suffering with a lots pain. I hope, I wish, if anything of this kind ever happens to me, then I would find some charitable hand to shorten my agony, because I know this time any trick wouldn't suffice. I'm sure, I wouldn't be able to deal with this type of fear in any possible ways that I know, I will just completely surrender to it.

It sounds too depressing, of course it is.

And because I don't know the answer for it, anyone that knows a way, a solution, or a trick to beat this kind of fear, please, you are welcomed to enlighten me!

My only answer at the moment is: euthanasia.

A dark and anxious...Red.eVolution

Sorry to post such depressing article, but as I said:
Life is also made up by these unpleasant realities.


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1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

oo0o gosh im gettn horney by the way u majestic writing...i love it its really mesmerizing...great work keep it up...ur edmirer

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